Photographs of fancy tricks to get your kicks at sixty-six
  He thinks of all the lips that he licks
  And all the girls that he's going to fix
  She gave a little flirt, gave herself a little cuddle
  But there's no place here for the mini-skirt waddle
  Capital punishment, she's last year's model
  They call her Natasha when she looks like Elsie
  I don't want to go to Chelsea
  Oh no it does not move me
  Even though I've seen the movie
  I don't want to check your pulse
  I don't want nobody else
  I don't want to go to Chelsea
  
  Everybody's got new orders
  Be a nice girl and kiss the warders
  Now the teacher is away
  All the kids begin to play
  
  Men come screaming, dressed in white coats
  Shake you very gently by the throat
  One's named Gus, one's named Alfie
  I don't want to go to Chelsea
  
  Oh no it does not move me
  Even though I've seen the movie
  I don't want to check your pulse
  I don't want nobody else
  I don't want to go to Chelsea
  
  Photographs of fancy tricks to get your kicks at sixty-six
  He thinks of all the lips that he licks
  And all the girls that he's going to fix
  She gave a little flirt, gave herself a little cuddle
  But there's no place here for the mini-skirt waddle
  Capital punishment, she's last year's model
  They call her Natasha when she looks like Elsie
  I don't want to go to Chelsea
  
  Oh no it does not move me
  Even though I've seen the movie
  I don't want to check your pulse
  I don't want nobody else
  I don't want to go to Chelsea