I'm not a free lunch box car parked in the seat
  dead-end streetcar of desire caught by the tailpiece
  I'm a jiffy pop tarts are bad for your teen-aged beef
  
  There's a mando-Linda Evans talking on the
  phone call a Porter Wagoner tailor-made underwear
  every dog has his Dayton Ohio Hitler
  says to button your fly Tijuana place a Bette Midler
  
  Oh drop dead lock stock and bugle coral reefer man
  every Marlon Brando gave him a great big handstand
  what a lumpy Guy lumbago embargo fish pants
  
  Is there a Groucho Marxist doctrine in the
  house calls about a lost set of Keystone cops out
  the same way you came in through the bathroom wind-
  oh look! a rock'n'roller skate and all skate slowly
  
  Hey man a T-bone state of the aren't
  you gonna finish your bird in a box
  Hey man your witness to the stand still
  shoulder to shoulder the burden a box
  Hey man and even Colonel Sanders' daddy
  was a Thunderbird in a box
  
  Loose tooth three of a perfect paradiced onions cheese
  and beans from another planeteri gargoyle change
  every two thousand smiled at
  Linda Evans called again singing happy birthmark