Tony's got a botfly in his forehead
  Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe
  Dave's got leeches,
  Mike's got flu,
  Everybody's got a parasite,
  I've got you.
  
  First date: we thought it was great
  We drank and we ate.
  We stayed up real late.
  Next week we hit our peak
  Making the bedsprings creak.
  And now, one month later.
  
  Tony's got a botfly in his forehead
  Jenny?s got a guinea worm in her shoe
  Dave?s got leeches,
  Mike?s got flu,
  Everybody?s got a parasite,
  I?ve got you.
  
  I guess that?s what I get
  For being a jerk instead of cooling my jets
  You were a wolf in a sheepskin
  Playing for keeps and I lost
  And now, twenty years later
  
  Tony?s got a botfly in his forehead
  Jenny?s got a guinea worm in her shoe
  Dave?s got leeches,
  Mike?s got flu,
  Everybody?s got a parasite,
  I?ve got you.
  I?ve got you!
  I?ve got you!
  Somebody tell me what to do
  Should I try a bit of vinegar?
  Has someone got an antidote?
  Band-aids, cyanide, hydrogen peroxide,
  Rum and coke if nothing else will do
  Everybody?s got a parasite,
  I?ve got you.
  
  Tony?s got a botfly in his forehead
  Jenny?s got a guinea worm in her shoe
  Dave?s got leeches,
  Mike?s got flu,
  Everybody?s got a parasite,
  I?ve got you.