No needles, no rehab
  No minors, no murder rap
  Where?s that leave a guy like me
  Windy city square
  If al that sells is tragedy I haven?t got a prayer
  
  Should I try to lose it all, kick it off the track
  Just to say I took the fall but "look who?s comin? back"
  
  What?s the story, where?s the dirt
  Nobody?s happy ?til somebody gets hurt
  I don?t want t keep up with all that
  The garbage that you swallow gonna someday make you fat
  
  Normal childhood, beautiful wife
  ?Scuse me having a wonderful life
  Why should I be hungry for someone else?s pain
  Heroes should have something but talent for fame
  Double barrel in the mouth nails it every time
  But that?s what legend?s all about
  Ain?t no bigger headline
  
  What?s the story, where?s the dirt
  Nobody?s happy ?til somebody gets hurt
  I don?t want to keep up with all that
  The garbage that you swallow gonna someday make you fat
  Maybe I should frequent all the places that I?m avoiding
  And maybe you should work on building rather than destroying
  
  If this is making friends, I?d rather be lonely
  So where?s that leave a guy like me
  Windy city square
  I may never make page three but ask me if I care
  
  What?s the story, where?s the dirt
  Nobody?s happy ?til somebody gets hurt
  I don?t want to keep up with all that
  The garbage that you swallow gonna someday make you fat