Well I've kicked around a lot since high school
  I've worked a lot of nowhere gigs
  From keyboard man in a rock'n ska band
  To haulin' boss crude in the big rigs
  Now I've come back home to plan my next move
  From the comfort of my Aunt Faye's couch
  When I see my little cousin Janine walk in
  All I could say was ow-ow-ouch
    [CHORUS:]
  Honey how you've grown
  Like a rose
  Well we used to play
  When we were three
  How about a kiss for your cousin Dupree
    She turned my life into a living hell
  In those little tops and tight capris
  I pretended to be readin' the National Probe
  As I was watchin' her wax her skis
  On Saturday night she walked in with her date
  And backs him up against the wall
  I tumbled off the couch and heard myself sing
  In a voice I never knew I had before
    [CHORUS]
    I'll teach you everything I know
  If you teach me how to do that dance
  Life is short and quid pro quo
  And what's so strange about a down-home family romance?
    One night we're playin' gin by a cracklin' fire
  And I decided to make my play
  I said babe with my boyish charm and good looks
  How can you stand it for one more day
  She said maybe its the skeevy look in your eyes
  Or that your mind has turned to applesauce
  The dreary architecture of your soul
  I said - but what is it exactly turns you off?
    [CHORUS]