Shopping spree for the family tree, haven't seen your family tree, in quite a while
  Too many sandwiches and wine, sherry stains down your best mans tie, what a speech
  The band arrive, the grannies cry, the singers tongue's's in the bar maids mouth, what a voice
  Grandpa drunk a drop or two and his head's still stuck down the portaloo, what a man
    You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breasts, the discos late and he's overpaid tonight
  You got a diamond ring and a man who sings, the man who sings made love to the bar maid twice
  And that's just tonight
    The blue rinsed hairs lift up their chairs
  The bands too loud, they're off down stairs what a noise
  The bride and groom they dance their dance
  The singer mimes there's still a chance, the bar maid smiles
    You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breasts, the discos late and he's overpaid tonight
  You got a diamond ring and a man who sings, the man who sings made love to the bar maid twice
  And that's just tonight
    You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breasts, the discos late and he's overpaid tonight
  You got a diamond ring and a man who sings, the man who sings made love to the bar maid twice
  Grandpa drunk a drop or two and his head's still stuck down the portaloo, what a man
  The bride and groom they dance their dance, the singer mimes there's still a chance tonight
  And the bar maid smiles