I looked out the window and seen his bald head
  I ran to the fridge and pulled out an egg
  Scoped him with my scopes he had no hair
  Launched that shot and he was caught out there
  Saw the convertible driving by
  Loaded up the slingshot and let one fly
  He went for his to find he didn't have one
  Put him in check correct with my egg gun
  The egg a symbol of life
  Go inside your house and bust out your wife
  Pulled out the jammy he thought it was a joke
  The trigger I pulled his face the yoke
  Reached in his pocket took all his cash
  Left my man standing with an egg moustache
  Suckers they come a dime a dozen
  And when I say dozen you know what I'm talking about boyee
      Yeh, that's right, I'm the Egg Man
  Driving Around, King of the town
  Always got my windows rolled down
  You know, I'm the Egg Man
      Once upon a time
  Humpty Dumpty was a big fat egg
  He was playing the wall and then he broke his leg
  Tossed it out the window three minutes hot
  Hit the Rastaman he said bloodclot
  Which came first the chicken or the egg
  I egged the chicken then I ate his leg
  Riding the trains in between cars
  When I pull out the station you're gonna get yours
  Drive by eggings plaguing L.A.
  Yo they just got my little cousin ese
  Sometimes hard boiled sometimes runny
  It comes from a chicken not a bunny dummy
  People laugh it's no joke
  My name's Yauch and I'm throwing the yoke
  Now they got me in a cell but I don't care
  It was then that I caught catching people out there
      Up on the roof, in my car
  Up all night, I'm pulling through signs like Dolomite
  The mack, I'm the Egg Man
  Taxi Driver, I'm the Egg Man
      We all dressed in black we snuck up around the back
  We began to attack the eggs did crack on Haze's back
  Sam I am down with the program
  Green eggs and ham Yosemite Sam
  Come Halloween you know I come strapped
  I throw it at a sucker K-pap
  You made the mistake you judge a man by his race
  You go through life with egg on your face
  You woke up in the morning with a peculiar feeling
  You looked up and saw egg dripping from the ceiling
  Families puck rocks the businessman
  I'll dog anybody with an egg in my hand
  Not like the crack that you put in a pipe
  But crack on your forehead here's a towel now wipe