Hey ladies in the place I'm callin' out to ya
  There never was a city kid truer and bluer
  There's more to me than you'll ever know
  And I've got more hits than Sadaharu Oh
  Ton Thumb Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery
  Date women on T.V. with the help of Chuck Woolery
  Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon
  And I'm always out looking for a female companion
  I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib
  I took off her moccasins and put on my bib
  I'm wheelin' and dealin' I make a little bit of stealing
  I'll bring you back to the place and your dress I'm peeling
  Your body's on time and your mind is appealing
  Staring at the cracks up there upon the ceiling
  Some such nonsense is the bass that I'm throwing
  Talking to a girl telling her I'm all knowing
  She's talking to the kid to the who
  I'm telling here every lie that you know that I never did
  Hey Ladies, Get Funky
      Me in the corner with a good looking daughter
  I dropped my drawers and it was welcome back Kotter
  We were cutting up the rug she started cutting up the carpet
  In my apartment I begged her please stop it
  The gift of gab is the gift that I have
  And that girl ain't nothing but a crab
  Educated no stupid yes
  And when I say stupid I mean stupid fresh
  I'm not James at 15 or Chachi in charge
  I'm Adam and I'm adamant about living large
  With the white sassoons and the looks that kill
  Makin' love in the back of my Coupe De Ville
  I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie
  I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie
  Cause I don't kinda go for that messin' around
  You be listening to my records' a number one sound
  Step to the rhythm step step to the ride
  I've got an open mind so why don't you all get inside
  Tune in turn on to my tune that's live
  Ladies flock like fish to my line
  Hey Ladies, Get Funky
      She's got a gold tooth you know she's hardcore
  She'll show you a good time then she'll show you the door
  Break up with your girl it ended in tears
  Vincent Van Gogh and mail that ear
  I call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinking
  The phone booth on the corner is damp and it's stinking
  She said come on over it was me that she missed
  I threw that trash can through her window cause you know I got dissed
  Your old lady left you and you went girls(x3) insane
  You blew yourself up in the back of the 6 train
  Take my advice at any price a gorilla like your mother is mighty weak
  Sucking down pints till I didn't know
  Woke up in the morning at the Won Ton Ho
  Cause I announce I like girls that bounce
  With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce
  Girls with curls and big long locks
  And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks
  Walking high and mighty like she's #1 and
  She thinks she's the passionate one