written by Madonna and Patrick Leonard
  Track 5, Time: 4:04
  -------------------------
  My guy is really something, he's sensitive and shy
  My guy is such a bumpkin, it doesn't take much to make him cry.
  If you hurt someone helpless, it's like taking away all his toys,
  He's just a cry baby boy.
    My guy is sentimental, he's always feeling blue
  He can be so temperamental and I don't know what I should do.
  If you step on a little bug he cries all over the floor,
  He's just a cry baby bore.
    Chorus:
    I don't want to hurt his feelings,
  But his outbursts have me really
  Boo-hoo-hoo-ing all the time,
  If I turn out like him, I think I'm gonna cry, baby
  La, la, la, la, la, la,
  He's such a cry baby,
  La, la, la, la, la, la.
    (Spoken:) And I'll tell you something else
    My guy is such a wet noodle, he's always teary-eyed
  He acts like a real cock-a-doodle, he can't even tell you why.
  If you just play him a sappy song, he acts like his doggie just died,
  He's just a cry baby guy.
    (Spoken:) No kidding, oh dear
    My guy is such a whiner, he's worse than baddie so
  A cockroach seen in the diner, and the tears flow out of the blue.
  And if I ask him to knock it off, he goes and cries in the can,
  He's such a cry baby man.
    (chorus)
    I love a cry baby,
  La, la, la, la, la, la.
  He's such a cry baby,
  La, la, la, la, la, la.
    (Spoken:) Would you knock it off please? Thank you.