Backside melts into the sofa
  My world, my TV, and my food
  Besides listening to my belly gurgle
  Ain't much else to do
  Yeah, I sweat a lot
  Pants fall down every time I bend over
  And my feet itch
  Yeah - I married a scarecrow
  I hate you
  Talkin' to myself
  Everybody's starin' at me
  I'm only bleedin'
  Someone taps me on the shoulder every 5 minutes
  Nobody speaks English anymore
  Would anyone tell me if I was gettin' stupider?
  I hate you
  Talkin' to myself
  You don't feel it after awhile
  You take the beating
  I'm a swingin' guy
  Throw a belt over the shower curtain rod
  And swing - - -
  Toss me inside a hefty
  And put me in the ground
  A drink needs me
  I don't
  I ain't about to guzzle no tears
  So kiss my ass
  Newscasters, cockroaches, and desserts
  I hate you
  Talkin' to myself
  Everybody's starin' at me
  I'm only bleedin'
  where are the kids?
  maybepregnantorondrugsoronwelfareontopoftheworldonthehonorrollonparoleontheDodgersonthebackofmilkcartons-
  onstakesinthemiddleofcornfieldsoncoversoffuturehistorybooksonoldlady'smantleswalkin'onwaternailedoncrosses
  I think it's time I had a talk with my kids
  I'll just tell 'em what my daddy told me
  YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA AMOUNT TO NOTHIN'