My Uncle Charlie is a cynical man
  And his wifes a touch skeptical, too.
  They've got one of those stickers
  In the back of their van; it says:
  We've seen the prices at the zoo.
  Well today I knocked upon their door
  And said that I was passing,
  And charlie launched a scathing attack.
  When I asked him what I'd done, he said
  "You stupid bastard! We live in a cul-de-sac!"
    Went to Darlene's party; it was fancy dress.
  I just stuck an apple in my face.
  I saw a chap who obviously was out to impress,
  Reckoned he'd beat Gagarin into space.
  He said "Hi there {? souls! ?}
  Like I'm sorry I'm late!
  But I was getting done up
  As a mobile thrash acetate!"
  Me, I got bored
  So I went home,
  Got into bed,
  And came to the conclusion...
    There is nothing better in life
  Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Birol
  There is nothing better in life
  Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Birol
  There is nothing better in life
  Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Birol
  There is nothing better in life
  Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Birol
  On a Saturday Night instead of going to a pub.