There's a tramp sittin' on my doorstep
  Tryin' to waste his time
  With his methylated sandwich
  He's a walking clothesline
  And here comes the bishop's daughter
  On the other side
  She looks a trifle jealous
  She's been an outcast all her life
    Me, I'm waiting so patiently
  Lying on the floor
  I'm just trying to do my jig-saw puzzle
  Before it rains anymore
    Oh the gangster looks so fright'ning
  With his luger in his hand
  When he gets home to his children
  He's a family man
  But when it comes to the nitty-gritty
  He can shove in his knife
  Yes he really looks quite religious
  He's been an outlaw all his life
    Me, I'm waiting so patiently
  Lying on the floor
  I'm just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle
  Before it rains anymore
    Me, I'm waiting so patiently
  Lying on the floor
  I'm just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle
  Before it rains anymore
    Oh the singer, he looks angry
  At being thrown to the lions
  And the bass player, he looks nervous
  About the girls outside
  And the drummer, he's so shattered
  Trying to keep on time
  And the guitar players look damaged
  They've been outcasts all thier lives
    Me, I'm waiting so patiently
  Lying on the floor
  I'm just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle
  Before it rains anymore
    Oh, there's twenty-thousand grandmas
  Wave their hankies in the air
  All burning up their pensions
  And shouting, "It's not fair!"
  There's a regiment of soldiers
  Standing looking on
  And the queen is bravely shouting,
  "What the hell is going on?"
    With a blood-curdling "tally-ho"
  She charged into the ranks
  And blessed all those grandmas who
  With their dying breaths screamed, "Thanks!"
    Me, I'm just waiting so patiently
  With my woman on the floor
  We're just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle
  Before it rains anymore