Twas the night before Christmas
  when all through the house
  Everybody was stoned
  even the mouse
    Man from the courthouse
  and me from jail
  I just settled down
  to get a piece of her tail
    When all of a sudden
  I heard such a clatter
  I tripped on my dick
  and busted my bladder!!
  I went downstairs
  and what did i see?!
  A fat little red fagget
  hangin from a tree
  He stuffed the stockings
  with reefers and beer
  And a big fat hairy dick
  for the family queer
    That's the end of my story
  Funny wasn't it, ya see?
  (tutaj moze być kilka blędow, bo text jest ciężki do zrozumienia)
    She didn't even...
    She didn't see my thing behind ya
  leave ya for this private eye
  I was there to give'em near to my
  zima zima mommy fah
  I'm gonna say this
  hope it don't offend ya
  came to the grizma
  give'em a taste of me
  give'em a little excitement to the damn monkey
  your monkey can stay with me
  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhh ahhhhhhhh
    Chevy took my brain
  same old motherfucker sucked my dick that day
  he will never zima zima
  never never not that day
  i'm really sick of all this excitement
  yeah, but he thinks he's better than me
  uma zooma nooga dunga
  you can suck my dick all day
  one, two, three, four
  Santa can suck my dick all day!!