Hot step moms and surrogate dads
  It breaks my heart to see him so sad
  Lying alone in his room with a frown on
  Reruns show him what he's missing out on
    If life could be, like he sees it on TV
  He wouldn't have to hurt so bad
  Hurts so bad `cause
    It's too much drama, too much drama Dad and Mama
  Traded back and forth til he turns 18
  It's too much drama, the kid don't need no new step grandma
  So he joins a family on the screen
  Can't you see? Too many parents leave
  Too many sets of parents leave a kid who can't believe
  How they can think that he can take it
  It's all he can do to fake it
    Off for a weekend with real Dad but
  The only thing real is how real bad he
  Just wants his life to be black and white
  Those people never fight
    If he could Xerox a home from the talking picture box
  He wouldn't have to hurt so bad
    So he turns to TV for help and for guidance
  A lot of his virtues he picked up from Linus
  Fonzie taught him what it means to be cool
  From Doogie he learned that he must go to school
  Three's Company taught him that just acting gay
  Could lower the actual rent he would pay
  Cops showed beating your wife and your neighbor
  Could immortalize you and your double wide trailer