Been in the pub since half past five
  All day long I've laughed and cried
  I'm like you I need a drink or two
  Mum's down the bingo it's Friday night
  Dad's down the dogtrack I hope he has a fight
  I'm alright I know what I want tonight
    I'm gonna get my end away
  I'm gonna get my end away
  I'm gonna get my evil way
    I don't know what I'm doing
  But I don't care
  I'd better go to the loo
  I'm just about to ...bleugh
  But I'm like you I need a drink or two
  I wanna girl but there's nothing in here
  Just old men and pints of beer
  But I'll be alright if I get what I want tonight
    I wanna get my end away
  I wanna get my end away
  I wanna have my evil way
    Oh look at that Harry lovely innit
  Innit handsome hey oh what a pair on that
  What could you do with that
  I could do with that definitely
  Oi darling, over here love, come on
  Come and have a good time with us
    I wanna get my end away
  I wanna get my end away
  I wanna have my evil way