It's kinda hard to wear high heels, or slip on banana peels
  How does she get in and out of tubs
  I hope she dont get mad, I hope she thinks this song is good not bad
  Cause we think that she's totally rad, she's nubs.
    No fingers, no toes, she doesn't own elbows,
  No phalanges no knobby knees to knock
  She don't need knuckles or hands to go see punk rock bands
  She's always in the stands, she's nubs
  She can't pick up a phone, she can't get dressed alone
  She's got no funny bone, she's nubs
  No shoes for feet but we sure do think she's neat, she's nubs, she's nubs, she's nubs.
    I asked her if she want a drink, I asked her if she liked Toronto,
  I asked her to go out to the bar, but all she said was no thanks, no, and no
    It was time for us to leave, so I grabbed and shook her sleeve
  and told her I'd see her at the next club she got into a pack
  and some guy put her on his back, she said goodbye and kinda waved her stub
    She's got beauitful eyes, and breasts regular size,
  but without calves and thighs, she's nubs
  It's hard to give good head or get tied to a bed,
  when all you've got is a body and head, she's nubs
    She's nubs, She's nubs, She's nubs...
  Oh she may not walk the walk, and she may not like to talk
  But boy she sure knows how to rock, she's nubs.
    [ Thanks anonymous for correction ]