Uh huh ... extra cheese
  Uh huh, uh huh ... save a piece for me
    Pizza party at your house
  I went just to check it out
  Nineteen extra larges
  What a shame
  No one came
    Just us eatin' all alone
  You said, "Take the pizza home"
  "No sense lettin' all this go to waste"
  So then I faced
    Pizza all day
  And every day
  This cheese 'round the clock
  Is gettin' me blocked
  And I sure don't care
  For irregularity
    Tell me
  Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?
  'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated
  In the bathroom ... I sit and I wait and I strain
  And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
  Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?
  No no no
    I was feelin' pretty down
  'Till my girlfriend came around
  We're just so alike in every way
  I gotta say
    In fact, I just thought I might
  Pop the question there that night
  I was kissing her so tenderly
  But woe is me
    Who would have guessed
  Her family crest
  I'd suddely spy
  Tattooed on her thigh
  And son-of-a-gun
  It's just like the one on me
    Tell me
  How was I supposed to know we were both related?
  Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated
  What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose
  And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes
  And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?
  No no no no no no no
  No no no no no no no
  No no no no no
    I had so much on my mind
  I thought maybe I'd unwind
  Try out that new roller coaster ride
  And the guide
    Said not to stand
  But that's a demand
  That I couldn't meet
  I got on my feet
  And stood up instead
  And knocked off my head, you see
    Tell me
  Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?
  This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it
  Such a drag, now ... Can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore
  I can't belch or yodel anymore
  Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated
    Oh no
  Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah)
  I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated
  What a bummer
  Can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeeze
  But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now
  Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated
  No no no