I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report
  About dsome devistating earthquake in Peru
  There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried alive
  On the Richter scale it measured 8.2
    And I said, "God, please answer me one question?"
  "Why'd they have to interrupt 'The Simpsons' just for this?"
  What a drag, 'cause I was taping it and everything
  And now I'll have to wait for the rerun to see the part of the show I missed
    Why does this always happen?
  Why does this always happen to me?
  Why does this always happen?
  (Why) Why does this always happen to me?
    Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba
  Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba
    I was driving down the highway when all the traffic slowed to a crawl
  There was a twelve-car pile-up, everybody dead
  And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere
  As well as my friend Robert's disembodied head
    And I thought - Poor Rob, I just had lunch with him
  Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money - what a jerk
  Well, there's five bucks that I'm never gonna see again
  Plus now, on top of everything else, it looks like I'm gonna be late to work
    Why does this always happen?
  Why does this always happen to me?
  Why does this always happen?
  (Why) Why does this always happen to me?
    Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba
  Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba
  Ba ba ba ba, ba ba
    Oh, the other day, my boss said we were running low on toner
  And he told me I should buy another case
  Well, I told him I was busy, but he still just kept on asking
  So, I turned around and stabbed him in the face (right in the face)
    Oh, and wouldn't you know it, my knife got stuck
  I guess that's probably bound to happen now and then
  But I'm afraid I may have bent the tip a little
  And I know that blade will never ever be quite as sharp again (quite as sharp again)
  Oh, tell me
    Why does this always happen?
  Why does this always happen to me?
  Why does this always happen?
  Why does this always happen to me?
    Why does this always happen to me?
  (Why does this always happen to me?)
  Why does this always happen to me?
  (Why does this always happen to me?)
    Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba
  Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba
  Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba
  Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba
    Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba
  Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba
  Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba
  Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba