It was always curled up inside of me
   curled up like something that cannot be admited
   like something that we wish for, but are afraid to lose
   it is dark and I am alone
   I am at a stage of my life where everything is cold
   where despite of me, everything is far away
   but at the moment I face it,
   I look at it as if I could read myself in it
   the cards are drawn, my left hand pointing
   I eagerly await this destiny that I want to fashion
   the game comes to a stop,
   the cards fall one after the other,
   I hold my breath, my heart pounds
   hearts, spades, clubs
  
   I hope and I fear so much also
   But the truth falls, my truth
   so true for me
   It appears as an open door
   opened on my desires
   on what I knew
   the future belongs to me, my turn to play
   so incredible
   so improbable
   I waited for so long
   during my short life so far
   it was always in me
   I have no choice, I must succeed