Can this be or am I dreaming?
   What a mess!
   Woke up drunk lying on the floor
   This cannot be, my place is trashed
  
   Broken bottles everywhere
   Vomit oozing down the stairs
  
   I asked myself how did this happen
   Don't recall
   Why the nasty, pounding headache?
   I need relief, where's the tylenol
  
   Lying in my bed! With a swollen head!
   What did I do? I always regret the morning after!
  
   Morning's passed, now I think I remember
   Holy shit!
   Ugly bitch playing with my member
   Mutated sow with an extra tit
   Senseless ruckus late at night
   That's when we began to fight
   Four AM and we were hungry
   Cooked some food
   Ate until the fridge was empty
   Then they left, all their bellies full
  
   Now my brain feels like mashed potatoes
   Getting sick
   I swear to kick this nasty habit
   And never drink for ever more
  
   Headache ceases, all is fine
   Getting thirsty, where's the wine?
  
   I cannot stop though I'm seeing double
   Sloshed again
   I know it's sad but I really need it
   Cause alcohol is my only friend
  
   Lying in my bed! With a swollen head!
   What did I do?
   Lying in my bed! With a swollen head!
   What did I do? I always regret the morning after!