If I were you (and I wish that I were you)
  All the things I'd do to make myself turn blue
  I suppose I'd start by removing all my clothes,
  tie my pantyhose around my neck
    I'll be that girl - and you would be right over
  If I were a field, you would be in clover
  If I were the sun, you would be in shadow
  And if I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow
    If you will not have me as myself,
  perhaps as someone else
  Perhaps as you I'll be worth noticing
  Then even a eunuch won't resist
  The magic of a kiss from such as me
    I'll be that girl - and you would be right over
  If I were a field, you would be in clover
  If I were the sun, you would be in shadow
  If I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow
    It's time to kick off your shoes,
  learn how to choose sadness
  It's time to throw off those chains,
  addle our brains with madness
    'Cause we've got plenty of time
  to grow old and die
  But when at last your beauty's faded
  you'll be glad that I have waited for you
    When you're done
  with being beautiful and young
  When that course is run, then come to me
    I'll be that girl - and you would be right over
  If I were a field, you would be in clover
  If I were the sun, you would be in shadow
  If I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow
    There'd be no tomorrow
  There'd be no tomorrow
  There'd be no tomorrow
  There'd be no tomorrow