I met him in a crowded room
  Where people go to drink away their gloom
  He sat me down and so began
  The story of a charmless man
  Educated the expensive way
  He knows his claret from a beaujolais
  I think he'd like to have been Ronnie Kray
  But then nature didn't make him that way
    He thinks his educated airs those family shares
  Will protect him, that you will respect him
  He moves in circles of friends who just pretend that they like him
  He does the same to them and when you put it all together
  There's the model of a charmless man
    He knows the swingers and their cavalry
  Says he can get in anywhere for free
  I began to go a little cross eyed
  And from this charmless man I just had to hide
    He talks at speed he gets nose bleeds
  He doesn't see his days are tumbling down upon him
  Yet he tries so hard to please he's just so keen for you to listen
  But no-one is listening and when you put it all together
  There's the model of a charmless man
    He thinks his educated airs, those family shares
  Will protect him, that you will respect him
  Yet he tries so hard to please he's just so keen for you to listen
  But no-one is listening and when you put it all together
  There's the model of a charmless man